Photo of the Week: Doorknob. Doors. Portals. “When one door closes, another opens.” “Opportunity only knocks (on the door) once.” “Leave your problems at the door.” “Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.”

Doors represent opportunities for change. When you go through a door, you enter a new world–whether your front door, or even a closet door. We close doors–shutting out possibility, for better or worse. We open doors–inviting possibility, for better or worse.

The doorknob in the photo is tempermental. To close it well, the doorknob must be turned and closed gently, then a gentle push on the door will make it latch. One would think that closing the door by pushing or pulling hard on it would make it latch. But, inevitably, the house shifts, and it opens. Being that this is the door to the garage, it opens to an unwanted opportunity at inconvenient times.

Opportunity in life can be like that. It can show up at inconvenient times, when you aren’t ready. And it may be time to gently, yet firmly and assertively, close the door so that YOU decide when to open to the opportunity. Slamming the door will only make it pop open again when you don’t want it to. It is counterintuitive. Aggression tends to have unwanted outcomes. Assertiveness, decisions made with control, tends to make things go better.

What are the doors of your life? Do we recognize that every time we open or close a door we are working with possibility? Closing a closet door after I have chosen a shirt to wear is a decision that I have committed to. Opening the front door to go to work is stepping into the world with all of the unknowns–for better or worse. It is a commitment to facing adventure. Opening a door to allow a visit from a friend is inviting opportunity for growth. Locking the door before going to sleep is to prevent unwanted opportunity.

When I was little, if I was upset, I would run to my bedroom and slam my door. My father would sometimes come and I would be in trouble. Slamming that particular door caused the trim to separate a bit from the wall. Slamming that door, aggressively shutting out my family, damaged the house, my home, my place of belonging. It was too much. However, firmly and assertively closing the door led to privacy and left my home intact. It gave a space for healing from the frustration rather than heaping problems–not only did I have the frustration that led to the slamming, but then I was also in trouble and had to deal with that.

What doors are in your life? How do you handle the opening, closing, locking? What insights can you share?