Yesterday was the seventh anniversary of my mother’s death. Grieving is a complicated thing. It follows no smooth path. It does not expire.

How does a person grieve? I felt somewhat numb for a long time. I still do some. For me, grieving my mother has been a little at a time.

What does it mean to move through grief? How does good mourning happen? What do you do? These are the questions I have wrestled with. Maybe you have, too. Maybe you have grieved for a loved one, an opportunity, a life that never came to be.

I think there are many ways. Here are some.

• Write. Write a list of ways the loss has impacted you. Write the same thing over and over if you need to. Be poetic if you want, use symbolic language.
• Move. Finish the actions your body wants to make. Kick or punch something soft, push against a wall (push hard), squeeze or hug a pillow or item of their clothing, stomp on the ground or jump. Let tears flow if they come. Let a scream out if it comes. Or move gently, like a dancer, touch soft things and be aware of your aliveness.
• Meditate. Set a timer and let yourself feel the emotions. When the timer ends, come out of your meditation gently. Hug yourself or take a warm shower. Be gentle.
• Talk. Find a friend or therapist who will listen. Speak the good and painful things. Let a friend or therapist be there.
• Music. Listen to music that reminds you or make new music. Sing or dance or simply sit.
• Create. Use clay, paint, crayons, fabric to create from your feelings. Create love or loss, pain or joy.
• Nature. Find something natural and contemplate the wonder of existence and cycles.

I think it is important when you have these times to have a beginning and end to the moments. It is kind of like keeping your grief in a box. It is always with you, but only sometimes visit it. Find grounding methods to help you come out of the moments (like paying attention to your breath and body).

It may feel as though the feelings will swallow you and you will never get out. That can be scary. Feelings move on when you allow moments of feeling. Let them in. Denying them makes them overtake you when you may not want them.

You can move through grief. A loss changes you. That is true. Pain has its impact. Move with the seasons of grief.

How have you handled loss in your life? Share your thoughts.