Photo of the Week: Sunrise. Several years ago, I trained myself to be a morning person. For most of my life, I had a sense of dread when I woke. I felt an immediate surge of adrenaline, a feeling of “what am I already behind on?” or “what scary thing do I have to face today?” It was truly horrible.

At one point, I decided that I wanted time before I went to do the first dreaded thing. I thought that maybe if I had peaceful, maybe even happy, time before the thing, I would feel better. I thought maybe if the thing was a part of the day but not the first thing of the day, maybe it would seem less overwhelming. That is how it worked out for me.

The way I trained myself was that I decided to give myself two hours (!) before I had to leave my house. I went to bed eight hours before, which did give me an early bedtime (!). It was uncomfortable at first to lose late nights. I had been a night owl. Then I PACKED my morning with things I liked. I lit candles to make it cozy. I played gentle music I liked. I had coffee. I read or did other things I liked. Eventually, I added exercise. But, if you are trying this transition, at least at first only do things you enjoy. If you enjoy exercise then add it right away!

It really did not take long for the adjustment because I made the morning so nice. At this point, I wake up naturally by 5am. I go to bed around 9pm. I find that I wake at this time even if I do go to sleep later. I also let myself take a thirty minute nap sometime if possible. Sometimes I do afternoon tea or coffee.

The point is, if you are trying to make a change, try using gentleness and things that bring you joy. Maybe you want to add exercise, for example. Try doing something that feels good for exercise. Or if nothing feels good, try surrounding the exercise with things that bring you joy–good food, music, some activity that you do enjoy.

It seems simple. I find that many people I have known though, including myself, have tried to bully their way into a new habit. We have tried talking cruelly to ourselves, saying to “stop being lazy.” Or we have tried to be really strict so that a “failure” is met with self-punishment.

In social work, counseling, education, and other areas, there is a notion of “trauma-informed care.” Trauma-informed care is defined as practices that promote a culture of safety, empowerment, and healing. Life is hard. There are small difficulties, and sometimes large difficulties, in every day. Give yourself trauma-informed care. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself.

Even the attempt to heal an aspect of your life is a step. It is something to be celebrated. What is something you have done that was a struggle but worth it? How did you do it? What is something you are trying to change?