What does healing mean to you?

I used to think that, because healing is such an individual experience, there could be no “definition” of what it meant. When I read what Dr. Dan Siegel said about FACES (flexible, adaptive, cohesive, energized, stable), I changed my mind. To me, flexible, adaptive, cohesive, energized, and stable thinking/feeling, is thinking/feeling that is healthy. It is the ability to move with circumstances, the ability to experience your feelings while maintaining your sense of self.

I think it is a goal that is sometimes momentarily attainable, sometimes partially attainable, and sometimes out of reach.

When I work with a client, how this looks to them in their life is what is important. It seems that the goal a client sets is always some variation of FACES. “To feel joy;” “To not be so overtaken by depression;” “To grieve.” These are all requests to move through life gently, passionately, peacefully.

As a therapist, I see people–and I have experienced in my own life–approach the goal, back away from the goal, approach, back away, etc. I think this happens because healing can be scary for many reasons. Pain can become familiar. Pain can feel more stable, like there is nothing to lose, unlike with happiness. Pain can even allow us to stay in relationship with those who would not know how to relate to us if we changed. Pain can, in a way, be safe.

Healing is an ongoing process. Be compassionate with yourself. Reach out to others when you need to. Celebrate movement toward healing.

What does healing mean to you? Please share.