Photo: Tea bag steeping in hot water. I am very impatient. Especially when it comes to waiting for tea to be ready. I usually distract myself from the wait by doing other things. Regardless of what I do, though, the tea takes as long as it takes.

I have noticed that things go better for me when I slow down. I feel better when I do one thing at a time. I feel chaotic when I multitask.

When I slow down, I make better decisions. Just this morning, my husband was telling me about a recent experience. I asked a question that, after reflecting, I realized was subtly critical. I realized that I had been wanting the feeling of being “right,” even though we weren’t even in a conflict. I noticed this because I slowed down and checked in with how I was feeling. I felt like something was off–I felt a tension and an adrenaline rush feeling. I didn’t like the feeling and wondered where it came from so suddenly. After my realization, I was able to repair what felt like a rift. If I had been able to notice and slow down before speaking, maybe I would not have replied the way I did.

But slowing down before speaking is difficult.

How can I get better at slowing down before speaking?

I think that by noticing–checking in with how I feel–and repairing if something goes wrong, I can train myself to slow down earlier. It will become more natural.

What do you notice when you slow down? What elements make it easier for you to slow down (being on vacation, when it snows, when there is a candle, etc.)?