Photo of the Week: Learning to Embroider. This was my first embroidery project. It was a simple kit. I like it. It is imperfect–but unique. It was fun and makes me feel happy and accomplished when I see it. Next time, it will be a little easier.

This past weekend, I learned the basics of a type of therapy called EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing). (For more information on what EMDR is, look at https://www.emdria.org/.) Sometimes, when learning new things, I feel intimidated. I felt excited to learn this, but I could feel perfectionist tendencies creeping in. To combat that feeling, I decided to not say my fears out loud. That way, at least I would not hear my fears.

As the training went on, I felt a little overwhelmed by all the information. I recognized that is how I usually feel when learning new things. It is a familiar feeling. I decided to accept that was how I would feel for a while, trying to remember that, in the past, that feeling subsided and the information was integrated.

The information did become more integrated. As we practiced with each other, I felt as though my impulse to aim for perfection was getting in the way of authentic connection. So, I took some deep breaths and settled myself, remembering that in therapy, there is no “perfection.”

I will have to practice. What I know is that perfection is not the goal. There are different ways to do most things well. Including this type of therapy. Humans are varied, and so this technique will have some slight variation for each person. (Note: It is important if seeking an EMDR therapist, you find someone with professional training.)

I am learning. Growing. I want to deepen in authenticity and connection. That is the way I will help others to heal. That is what will help me heal as well. Technique does matter. It is important to know what aspects are most important and cannot vary, but also, which aspects can be unique.

What are you learning? How have you overcome perfectionist tendencies? I would love to hear from you!