Photo of the Week: Fallen Leaves. One day, I was sitting outside during an unseasonably warm autumn day. I looked down to my right and noticed the texture and color of these leaves. I snapped a photo and now it is a photo I love.

Last week, I did not write my usual blog post. My energy was low; my mood was low. So, I decided to let it go. It was difficult to let it go, but I think it was a good decision. I have spoken to my sons about learning when it is good to push yourself, and when it is time to let something go. It is about learning to trust yourself and evaluate what is going on inside. I do not think pushing myself would have been a “wrong” decision; just a different decision. It isn’t always a choice between right and wrong. Sometimes, maybe most of the time (?) just a choice of possibilities. I think that what would have been “wrong” would be to berate myself over my choice. Not “wrong” but unnecessary and painful.

While I was feeling low, I experimented with being gentle with myself. The low feeling lasted two days. That is much less time than such low times have lasted in the past. I am not sure why it was only two days. Medication? The fact that I have aged and have a different perspective? The support of a loved one? I am not sure. I think, though, that it helped that I allowed the feeling. I stopped myself when I felt myself pushing against the feeling. I was disappointed that I had the feeling. It was interrupting my cherished weekend time. I tried to accept that this was how I felt at the time and I allowed naps and low energy activities without self-criticism. Looking back, I think that contributed to the mildness of the low feeling.

So, the photo of the leaves. I used this photo today because I was thinking of the times when my low was much lower than those two days. There are times when a person cannot feel joy. It takes energy even to breathe, to sigh. One thing that has helped me is to slow down and also to notice detail. I slow down because that is the energy level I have at those times. I notice details, like those of the leaves. I notice color, texture, shape. I do not even put on the pressure of trying to appreciate these things. I only notice. I may look for things of a particular color. Or things with a curve. Or things with a certain shape. It is partly a distraction. Partly a grounding into the present. It is a way for me to order my brain. That is what it feels like. That order brings a feeling of calm.

What has helped you when you have felt low? How have you made it through low times?