When my children were little and would get hurt, if I was feeling frustrated or impatient, I would sometimes hurry along their crying–trying to distract them from the pain. I found, though, that what was generally a faster method, was to hold them and say something like, “Oh, that hurt, didn’t it? Ouch.” I found that validating and being with them in their pain moved the pain along more quickly than denial or distraction.

I think that is true even as we grow older. It seems that fighting painful emotion makes it drag on. Lately, I have had more “free” time than I have had in a long time. There has been a lot of transition in my life recently that has opened space. I have found that it makes me uncomfortable. I find myself feeling guilty for not “producing,” anxious about not working continuously, even feelings of worthlessness because “who am I if I am not actively contributing?” These feelings have been fairly subtle and so I have tried distraction and pushing the uncomfortable feelings away.

It isn’t working.

Finally, it occurred to me that maybe I would feel better if I validate and honor myself in this time. I wrote for the Photo of the Week this week about this new season of going inward. Today is the last day of summer. So, I am experimenting with being gentle with myself in this transition time. Telling myself that this time can be a gift feels better. I have decided to use this time for deep self care and reflection.

Already, this morning, I feel better than I felt yesterday. I feel emotionally safer. I feel energized. Rather than shaming myself for my feelings and situation, I am honoring my feelings and situation with gentleness.

I encourage all of us to honor our emotions. They are messages–maybe your mind responding to past trauma, maybe giving new information. Be gentle with yourself. You are worth that.